Drinkability

d news from yesterday's hotly anticipated White House keggar, although no apologies were given, a mutual understanding and respect was formed after Officer Crowley gingerly held Professor "Skip" Gates' legs in mac lipstick air, so that he could do a "keg-stand," while President Obama and Vice-President Biden chanted "college! college! college!" "It's a testament that these two men were able to come together and play on the same team for a game of beer-pong or Beirut, if you will," said the President. According to the roughly three thousand reporters covering the event, the Obama/Biden team were able to knock-off Gates mac eyeshadow Crowley without re-racking their cups even once. Biden allegedly eliminated the elderly prof and not-racist cop with a bounce shot that eliminated any chance for a rebuttal.

Later they were joined for a game of flip-cup by recently suspended Boston cop Justin Barrett, who let it be known that when he referred to Gates as a "Jungle-Monkey" in MAC Cosmetics Outlet e-mail, he was only describing his behavior and meant no racial offense. "I treat all people with respect and dignity," said Barrett, denying charges of racism and claiming that he allows "African-Americans" to make eye contact with him on a regular basis. The whole afternoon provided an important "teachable moment" about the virtue of quiet compliance.

The Most Liquid Beer on Earth!

The real question was what kind of beer was served? Eschewing domestic, the men sipped on the newly released Micro-brew out of Pyongyang, "Leader Brau: To Help With Stress mac eyeliner pencil Glorious Starvation." This crisp lager expanded its growing and fanatical "Cult of Drinkability," earning rave reviews from the party. "This is one kind of North Korean proliferation I can get behind. We got totally bombed!" Joked Obama as he high-fived Biden. Following the success of this "Beer Summit," The White House invited the families of several people disappeared during the course of the War on Terror to join him in the Red Room for a "thoughtful conversation" and a non-alcoholic game of "Asshole." "I get to MAC Cosmetics President!" Said Obama.

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